OLW’s assignment for June 2019 was to assess our progress. After I completed my prompts and pages, I noticed that I am constantly giving excuses for the things I don’t get done. I also noticed that most of 2019 I have been “taking breaks” and “assessing my processes” without being able to commit to my own goals and use the learned lessons in my advantage.
The procrastination issue is very much alive. I have been learning but I am not thriving. The seeds I have been cultivating are growing at a very slow pace. So far, through these six months I have been successful in cultivating a daily habit of documenting my previous day. My word has been present in my life but not in an intentional way. Sometimes I feel ashamed, sometimes I feel guilty, sometimes I keep looking for excuses… But I also keep looking for meaning and maybe this is the hidden message behind choosing the word I chose. Maybe I wasn’t ready to cultivate yet and this year was just an opportunity to keep preparing the soil (or maybe I will keep failing, and spending my evening looking at other people’s perfect lives on Instagram, and falling into a black hole because that’s the way it’s meant to be, you never know).
Ways this prompt helped me to connect with my word
By being able to officially assess my progress, I have been able to put my feet on the ground and be honest to myself. This prompt opened my own scope to see what things can work to make the rest of the year better. I laugh at the fact that I might have chosen a word hoping it would miraculously fix my problems and my life. As the year flows, it has been enlightening to learn that my word, although it keeps showing up on its own, was supposed to accompany me and give meaning to my actions, not to make my dreams come true with little or no intervention of yours truly.
What I loved
I loved that this prompt lead to an honest self-pep talk. I am not sure how the rest of the year will turn out regarding my relationship to my word, but I am happy to be getting to know myself more through this project. I also loved choosing to doodle things that I could relate to my word.
What I didn’t love
I disliked confronting my own truth. However, I know this is necessary for growth, and I am grateful for that.
You can read about my other OLW pages here.
One Little Word is a year long project started by the awesome Ali Edwards in 2006 where she choses a word to focus on, meditate, and reflect on throughout the year.